yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
