508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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