didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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