OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
