If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
