I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
