This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
