i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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