somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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