found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
