I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
