And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
