i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
