I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
