Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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