im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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