People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
