my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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