I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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