Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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