i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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