u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
