ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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