She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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