I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.