Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I cut my penus on the lid.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY