Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
