His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
