If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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