That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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