you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
