don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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