Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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