The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
