There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
