why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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