Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
