Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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