I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
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I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize