Porn is love you can see.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I have post one night stand depression
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