That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
BRING THE BAGELS
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
