why didn't you poke me back
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
