He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize