I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
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i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
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Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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