That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
