i just had sex bonerless
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
