And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
