Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Dear god my vagina.
I forget how to act sober
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