I'm eating all of the evidence.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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