No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
