everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
