eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
