Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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