Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
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