did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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