im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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