in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It was like giving head to a cactus.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
