do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
did i walk over a car last night?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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