addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
