he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
