went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
