Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
