Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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