i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
