I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
